Tag Archives: blog

My first love

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So my very first love, is actually with my ex I now live with… He was not my first boyfriend, first kiss, first… Something else, but he is my first love.

I loved him, I still kinda do. He means a lot to me and gets me to smile. Life goes on however and I don’t know what the future have in store for him and I. But with everything we’ve been through in these three years, It’s been happiness… He made me so happy. He did nothing wrong it’s just different paths we’re going though. There’s not much I can really say more about this right now. Sadly this is all… I wish I could write something more but my hand hurts…
I’ll be fine.

Top five places I’ve wanted to visit

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I’ve never been thinking about places I’d want to visit, I’ve never been the person to really want to go somewhere because I know I never will go visit a places. So there probably wont be anything too exotic or anything…
Well… Let’s start! Read the rest of this entry

Very first heartbreak

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Very first heartbreak

Why hello, this will be a fun subject to write about, my very first heartbreak. It’s a non-romantic one actually. But I remember it was my very first real heartbreak, it was so painful I still kinda can feel the burn yet today. But that’s because I’ve had similar heartbreaks, but still.

I was about… I don’t know but I think I was in second or third grade. It was a real best friend break up. Let’s call my best friend Emilia, and the other girl I’ll be mention Josse.

It was one break after lunch I ran out to catch up with Emilia who’d actually been acting somewhat weird and distance lately. I finished my lunch so I could go out and play with her in the woods like she and I always did. Instead of me finding her she caught me and said she wanted to talk, she had Josse with her and they took me to one of the rooms the school had and closed the door. They stood and asked me to take a seat, so I did obviously, and also not so oblivious to the situation, I was still kinda prepared on what would happen.

When I sat there and looked at then, Emilia put her hands together and looked down to the floor for a while before she looked over at me with somewhat of sad eyes but not out of sorrow but pity, I hated it. I hate to be pitied like that, it’s just terrible. So me kinda knowing what was coming she then would say “I don’t want to be best friends anymore.”. It stung, it was like a huge stab right though my heart, and then whatever stabbed me would pull out and this cold wind would pass the bleeding whole of emptiness. Pointing over to her new ‘best friend’ she looked at me both of them and Emilia would say “Josse is my new best friend.”.

Yes, it was so cliche movie break up! It really was it felt like me and Emilia had been like an official couple and she found someone else and would break the news to me like that. I laugh at it now because how like I said, cliche the moment was, and to make it even more fun.
My reaction was really the ‘I’m the man in this relationship’. I just looked at both of them before even saying anything, there was nothing to say I kicked away the chair before I left completely shot open the door and slammed it shut, rushing away. And she tried for a single second to follow me. But she gave up.

I was sad, I really was it was painful, everyone in my class then was paired up, they all had a best friend they hung with but me, I was the one sitting alone watching over the playground and just… Being me. I had a few friends who’d come to me and ask if I wanted to play with them so I wasn’t completely alone, I just didn’t have a best friend anymore is all. And if it was now, I wouldn’t have let her hurt me as much as eh did, she was never really a good friend to me. But it’s fine now, it’s been a long while and I’m alive! See? Everything is always fine in the end, now I have something similar like that to deal with… But…

I’ll be fine!

Shows I’m following

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Shows I’m following

There’s no shows I’m really following at the moment, I’m not that into things like that actually if I’m to be completely honest. But I do watch Game of Thones… Only pretty much. I’ve tried pretty little liars, true blood and stuff like that, it’s not that I don’t enjoy watching them, it’s just that I’ve never gone down to really continue watching… I like both of the shows, it’s just I don’t find the interest in continuing especially if no one’s with me.

But game of thrones is something I currently following…. But that’s about it… Maybe I should give other shows like PLL and TB another chance? I don’t know. Meh I figure it out.
I’ll be fine.

Unfinished challenge of all time

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There’s been this challenge I’ve always wanted to do, for a few years, I’ve always started it, I’ve come pretty far like… Less than a week and stuff, and this time I really want to finished and do it. It’s a 30 days challenge! And for those who don’t know what that is, it’s a challenge for 30 days, aka, a whole month. There’s a subject you get to write about each day, a specific subject like. 1, top 10 favorite songs. And you have to write about that for that day.

So I felt like I wanted to write about that all of the sudden. But seeming as it’s the first of December it would be a great start. December is also however 31 days so I think I’ll make it 31 days challenge and to make it even more fun and annoyingly difficult for me, I’ll create the challenges all on my own! My very own December blogging challenge, I’ll probably not going to be able to do it but I like to try, it’s something that will keep me busy in these harsh boring world. So I’ll just have to try to figure out 31 things for me to write about. It’ll be a busy day for me, indeed.

  1. Challenges
  2. Shows I’m following
  3. Very first heartbreak
  4. My first love
  5. Current favorite songs
  6. My break ups
  7. My current relationship
  8. Favorite current YouTube video
  9. What I look forward to
  10. Someone I miss
  11. My safe haven
  12. Future plans
  13. Comic I’m reading
  14. Book I’m reading
  15. My favorite food
  16. A old post
  17. My family
  18. Favorite season
  19. Favorite holidays
  20. How I prepare for Christmas
  21. My best friend
  22. 25 facts about me that you may not know
  23. Five of my greatest fears
  24. Marry Christmas
  25. Post about my day
  26. Thoughts about this month
  27. My biggest dream
  28. 5 Weaknesses
  29. 3 Secrets
  30.  30 Random facts
  31. New years

In love

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In love

I feel very very unsure about writing about my love life just yet… But I have so much in mind, right now I feel torn but I know how it’s gonna end. There’s this on guy who I love, above everything else. But then there’s this one who I’m in love with and actually wanna be with, and because I’ll be moving, I’ll be moving closer to the guy I’m in love with. It’s just a little over a month till it’s time for me to move out, move on… And now I have to do this thing where I have to plan and think about my future, and it’s difficult… Cuz I like to take one day at the time so this thinking ahead scares me especially when I have no idea what I will be doing. I just know now I’ll move to my sisters but I can’t stay with her forever, so what will I do? Try to find a job…? I have no experience, but I guess everything have to start somewhere. But I have no education, maybe I should become a hobo… No, that’s not fun. Shouldn’t joke like that.
This is getting a bit off track from the subject of being in love… I guess I’m over thinking it, but if it wasn’t for love I was feeling I doubt I’d actually go through with the move, and I know it will happen, or is about to happen cuz I’ve already ordered my passport and It will just be a matter of days till I get it.

I’ve always been this hopeless romantic, everything with love just interest me, so if there’s a blog, vlog, or post or anything about love… I’ll be on it. But romance have never been a problem for me as it is now. But I’ve put myself in this mess, I have to sort it out. I strongly believe I can and it will all be good in the end. But leaving my first love, the one who’ve taken me in, done everything in his power to make me happy, it’s selfish and I have being selfish. But the thing is I have to go, be me. And I know there will be a lot of heartbreaks and hardship coming my way. But I also know that I will never be alone to do them, I have my friends and people who care for me. And I’ll be always there for them aswell.
I don’t feel as scared anymore, I feel confident and I feel lighter… So with that being said, do not worry for me
I’ll be fine!