So my very first love, is actually with my ex I now live with… He was not my first boyfriend, first kiss, first… Something else, but he is my first love.
I loved him, I still kinda do. He means a lot to me and gets me to smile. Life goes on however and I don’t know what the future have in store for him and I. But with everything we’ve been through in these three years, It’s been happiness… He made me so happy. He did nothing wrong it’s just different paths we’re going though. There’s not much I can really say more about this right now. Sadly this is all… I wish I could write something more but my hand hurts…
I’ll be fine.
I feel very very unsure about writing about my love life just yet… But I have so much in mind, right now I feel torn but I know how it’s gonna end. There’s this on guy who I love, above everything else. But then there’s this one who I’m in love with and actually wanna be with, and because I’ll be moving, I’ll be moving closer to the guy I’m in love with. It’s just a little over a month till it’s time for me to move out, move on… And now I have to do this thing where I have to plan and think about my future, and it’s difficult… Cuz I like to take one day at the time so this thinking ahead scares me especially when I have no idea what I will be doing. I just know now I’ll move to my sisters but I can’t stay with her forever, so what will I do? Try to find a job…? I have no experience, but I guess everything have to start somewhere. But I have no education, maybe I should become a hobo… No, that’s not fun. Shouldn’t joke like that.
This is getting a bit off track from the subject of being in love… I guess I’m over thinking it, but if it wasn’t for love I was feeling I doubt I’d actually go through with the move, and I know it will happen, or is about to happen cuz I’ve already ordered my passport and It will just be a matter of days till I get it.
I’ve always been this hopeless romantic, everything with love just interest me, so if there’s a blog, vlog, or post or anything about love… I’ll be on it. But romance have never been a problem for me as it is now. But I’ve put myself in this mess, I have to sort it out. I strongly believe I can and it will all be good in the end. But leaving my first love, the one who’ve taken me in, done everything in his power to make me happy, it’s selfish and I have being selfish. But the thing is I have to go, be me. And I know there will be a lot of heartbreaks and hardship coming my way. But I also know that I will never be alone to do them, I have my friends and people who care for me. And I’ll be always there for them aswell.
I don’t feel as scared anymore, I feel confident and I feel lighter… So with that being said, do not worry for me
I’ll be fine!